OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
your room smells of hookers.
And success
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
