Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
