strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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