I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
