I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
