remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
