Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
