yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
