I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
