just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
