Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
My pussy is not your playground.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
