lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
