And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
