so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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