How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
