he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i would punch a child for taco bell
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize