I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
