break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
