Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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