I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
