All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
