KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
