I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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