I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
