What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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