should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
