Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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