if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
