So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
