need another drink. this is the easiest way
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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