Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize