didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
