I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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