I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
