There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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