I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate all girls vehemently.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
