Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
