i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
