Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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