If that was your dad, he is hot
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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