i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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