I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
