She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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