there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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