I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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