Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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