I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
