You can't motorboat a personality
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
