I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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