Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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