I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize