I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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