i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Randomize
