I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
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