i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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