i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
