If that was your dad, he is hot
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
