Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
