woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
