This is not my ceiling
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
