i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
