she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
