Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
