She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
