My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
