he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
