You're completely useless in the revolution.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
