His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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