words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The air was thick with penises
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
