Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
