I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
foreskin is a definite game changer
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
as a side note pls kill me
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
